Dear Aunt Laura: Farmington Boys & Girls Club Project Reflection

Boys & Girls Club (Farmington, New Mexico)

Fire Team 4, Round 1

(November 9 - December 19, 2012)

Reflection By Samantha Mairson

Whomever It May Concern,

Photos provided by teammates Alicia Munchel, Paige Trubatch, or Kelly Cavanaugh.

I am sad.

If one week ago you'd told me that those three words would kick-start my final reflection for this project, I would have been surprised. Disbelieving, I would have raised one eyebrow higher than the other and asked you, "Sad --- to be leaving?" And you, all-knowing spirit, you, would have said, "I'm sorry, no. Just plain sad. The deep, gloomy kind that makes remembering the good stuff more difficult. This is the kind of sadness that can potentially infect your entire memory of the project round."

I would have shaken my head, "That can't be." Then I would have tried to retell all the glorious moments for you. I would have explained, in sequence, the adventure we'd had. We left Colorado Heights campus in high spirits. Region Director Ken's words rang fresh in my mind: We have high expectations for you.

We traveled all day. We stopped in Center, CO and had lunch at a Subway. By the time we arrived at Great Sand Dunes National Park and Preserve, I was memorably sick. That didn't stop me from befriending British Columbians and sledding down the dunes. It did, however, invite my sleeping on the floor of the heated campground bathroom (while the rest of the gang went camping the old fashion way).

We arrived at the club. A blur of excitement, exploration, settling. Betty welcomed us.

Switching rooms. Making food. Crew eating at the Blue Moon Diner. Sleeping on cots. Assigned to staff members for training; working with the kids. Morning quotes. Computer training. Feeling funky. Shopping at Walmart. Finding my groove. PT! Cleaning the art room. Ornament making. 5K 10K Alumni Run ISP in Shiprock. Flea market. Mom announces engagement! Habitat for Humanity. SNAPS! Thanksgiving. Twilight. Shooting guns. Made official Public Library volunteer. Festival of trees. Dance party. First time fasting. Habitat for Humanity gift wrapping. Honorary staff feast. Crew prepares float for centennial Christmas parade. Crew ventures to Chaco Canyon. Jolie & Omid. Food bank. Hilltop. Diversity activities. Youth Board. Community Garden. Working with Roger & Debbie. Bathroom makeover? Museum visit. Luminaria. Laughter. Music. Blogging. Cooking club. Locker painting. Cynthia. Simon Canyon trail work. Terrible discovery. Crew tension. CRASH. Envelope stuffing. April saves the day. Brandon leaves. Running in the rain. Alexander Pollock, Izzie, Mikayla, Alicia, Autumn. Last weekend. Secret Santa. Mayor comes for lunch. Cookbook thank you.

Those stream of conscious, semi-chronological snippets are reminders of the infinite moments and memories here. These are the bits and pieces of life here, as an AmeriCorps team.

"So where does the sadness come in?" I ask.

When you made an unfortunate discovery in the gym and lost a teammate as a result. You lost a teammate and the trust of other teammates. You know this because you checked into Facebook before you wrote this reflection and a teammate, still living with you, has deleted you as a friend.

You are working to rebuild bridges, staying strong and confident in the knowledge that your integrity is not among lost things. You miss your crewmate, Brandon, a great deal and worry about him. You think that that AmeriCorps member handbook policy on drug use (Sec. 6) needs to be rewritten. It gives false hope where there ought to be none.

Yet, despite the sadness that tinges all things, you feel like you have really helped people here. Your time has been well spent. You are hopeful for the future and eager for break.

You have gotten things done for America -
making our people safer, stronger, smarter, healthier.
You have brought people together.
You have faced apathy and taken action.
You have face conflict and sought common ground.
You have faced adversity and persevered.

You hope to keep your good memories clean and separate from this sloppy finish.
You have great fondness for New Mexico and the people residing here in Farmington.
You hope future teams will succeed here, explore the culture, treat the staff well.
You hope the staff will remember Fire Team 4 well and for all the good achieved.

You hope your team will move forward gracefully and regain strength.

But yes, you are ready to go home for holiday break.