The first time I read this entry from my journal, I stood - quite spontaneously - before an AmeriTalks group. Corpsmembers from all units gathered together that evening to share and receive everything from songs and skits to short stories and personal speeches. The forum was inviting. The time seemed ripe to read it. I stood on my chair and this – more or less – is what I shared:
TH. 10-11-12
I had a dream that I just gave the most disappointing speech of my life. (pause)
The irony of this is not lost on me.
I stood before a large, classroom-size audience of people. The room, as I recall it, morphed with the noise and laughter and distraction of the faces that danced before me. I had prepared for hours on end, days maybe. There was some great point I had to make and wanted to make and I wasn’t making it. I had even promised a PowerPoint.
I should have warned the group;
Behold, I would have said, I am no Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I doubt myself capable of re-imagining and reawakening a nation of people.
I am no Dr. Seuss,
capable of igniting a children’s literacy movement and the imaginations of more than I can count.
If I cannot articulate why people of different color skin, different background, should love each other anyway –
If I cannot explain to a child all the places they’ll go;
1 fish, 2 fish, red fish, blue fish;
And (pause) I do not like green eggs and ham; I do not like them Sam I am –
If I cannot explain these things, then what can I explain?
I confess: what I am about to read is not an original part of this speech.
As we dance between a dream I had at the beginning of October & reality – I would like to mention a young man here who has returned to serve the AmeriCorps NCCC SW campus for a second year. (APPLAUSE) I mention him not only because he strikes me as a remarkable and loyal young man, but because he spoke in front of my unit. The topic of his address was what he would do differently this year, in his second term of service.
He spoke earnestly of trust, its importance, & of not wasting any time learning to love his teammates. (pause) He said, “You only get ten minutes to say goodbye to people you’ve spent ten months with.” And the last nugget of wisdom he shared was to remember always, quite simply, that it’s gonna be okay.
It’s gonna be okay when you’re faced with apathy.
You will take action.
It’s gonna be okay when you’re faced with conflict.
You will seek common ground.
It’s gonna be okay when you’re face with adversity.
You will perservere.
And it’s gonna be okay, maybe even better than okay, in all the places you’ll go.
My nugget of wisdom? Go to those places with an open mind.
I am Sam.
Sam I am. (pause)
I was born May 29, 1993. My parents named me Samantha Ann Mairson. (pause)
They didn’t know I would have that dream I earlier mentioned, and awake to find myself alone one October morning in a Colorado Heights University dorm room, questioning –
all that I am
and all that I’m capable of.
There is another young man on this campus with the following quote on his forearm:
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi
My instinct whispers that this young man is probably here for the right reasons.
What are the right reasons?
Your body may not perish from this lifetime with these words tattooed upon your skin, but let me ink them in your memory:
We are here to serve something bigger than ourselves. I cannot tell you with great detail what that something is; you must find it out. What change do you want to see in the world?
You must find that out –
and when you do,
you must obtain the skills to show and communicate to others just how precious your dream is –
was –
perhaps, will always be –
I am a writer. Perhaps it is only a consequence of my youth, but I sometimes fear I have nothing to say.
Perhaps I will look out at your faces and know that I have said something worthwhile,
but dare I say,
show me I’ve said something worthwhile –
and make something (pause) of this incredible opportunity we’ve been given.
(Close)
In my dream, amidst the noise and chaos of the audience, (pause),
I recited words that were given to me by an old man in the poetry aisle of the New York Public Library. He said, “Time is the most important thing you have to give.”
You are giving the next 9 months of your young life to what I think is a very worthy cause. Keep looking for that change you dream to see in the world & never give up on it. Thank you.
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